Dear Santa

It’s that time of the year. Below are the Christmas wishes received so far by Santa:

Greece- That 1.3 billion Chinese visit the Acropolis next year to wipe out its $450 billion debt.

Italy- That 1.3 billion Chinese and 1.2 billion Indians visit the Fountain of Trevi to wipe out its $2.6 trillion debt.

Germany- That the Chinese buy Portugal, Italy, Ireland, Greece and Spain (Prada, Gucci and Hermes will then be ‘Made in China’).  Alternatively, that China join the euro.

Barack Obama- That Perry, Gingrich, Bachmann, Cain or anybody else except Romney become the Republican nominee for the coming Presidential elections. Alternatively, that the Chinese buy half of America by offsetting it against the money owed them.

Atty. Ferdinand Topacio, lawyer of Mike Arroyo- For a padded box to hold his “family jewels” if ever.  Alternatively, for a Belo gift certificate to replace his diminished personal assets.

Atty. Raul Lambino, another lawyer of the ex-First Couple– For the intelligence of Estelito Mendoza. Alternatively, for the Arroyo retainer checks not to bounce.

Bobby Ongpin- That somebody buy his shares in Atok Big Wedge at its current ‘price ‘ of P 24. This values his company, a shell with no operations, at P 62 billion or 62 times its book value (and inveigled Forbes into listing him as a dollar billionaire). Alternatively, that Senators Enrile and Osmena take a leave of absence until 2016.

Jojo Manalo, secretary of Ongpin- For a fraction of the shares he has put in her name but which she has had to endorse back to him. Alternatively, for Sen. Osmeña not to visit her at the hospital.

Ashmore Investment- For Mike Arroyo to forget he has money with them. Alternatively, for Ongpin to forget he has money with them.

Rey David- For an industrial strength helmet for when Senator Enrile “cracks his head”. Alternatively, for a neck brace for the number of times he will have to turn his head to see who is after him (Now unnecessary, GMA may gift him with hers).

The Ampatuans- That the GMA controversy continues so they can be left in peace.

Manny Pangilinan- That the Blue Ribbon Committee not ask him to testify in the Philex matter. Alternatively, that DBP sell him its Philex shares at P 12.75 rather than the P 21.00 he had to pay.

Senator Enrile- That Bobby Ongpin and Rey David stop insulting his intelligence.

Senator Osmeña- That the nation know how badly and how often it has been taken to the cleaners by a bevy of bandits. Alternatively, that the Sandiganbayan know this as well.

The Opposition- For a new Sugar Mommy.

Presidential Spokesperson Lacierda- For his foot to taste better, the one he occasionally puts in his mouth.

DOJ Secretary Leila de Lima-That everybody stop saying she is running for the Senate. Alternatively, for Supreme Court spokesperson Midas Marquez to take her on a hot date.

Midas Marquez, SC spokesperson- For de Lima to not ask him for a hot date. Alternatively, that it be just coffee at Starbucks.

Pasay RTC Judge Mupas- For a million dollar life policy. Alternatively, for a really good private banker.

St. Luke’s- That GMA agree to be the face for their new marketing campaign: “St.Luke’s. When everything else fails”.

SC Chief Justice Rene Corona- For a Thank You note and the Order of Sikatuna from President Aquino for years of invaluable service to the nation. Alternatively, the Order alone will do just fine.

The eight majority Justices- For a TRO on the claim they are anti-Filipino.

The five minority Justices- For a victory, anywhere, in their lifetimes. Alternatively, for just one Solicitor General petition they can hit out of the park.

Filipinos with SC cases – Like the GMA petitions, that the Court resolve their thousands of pending cases in one week (Why does she get to jump the queue?).

The Solicitor General- For the GMA SC petitions to get behind the line, just like everybody else’s.

Mike Arroyo- For the clock to turn back 24 months and stay there. Alternatively, that Sec. de Lima accidentally strangle herself with one of her fashionable scarves.

Gloria Arroyo- For Annie Leibovitz to take her head shots. Alternatively, for a weekend in Singapore.

P-Noy- For a stylish, intelligent girl under 30 he can take home to his sisters. She must have affinity for ballistics and fast cars and working knowledge of Playstation 3. Alternatively, for three Justices to add to his five to assure a permanent majority in the Supreme Court.

The Filipino- For some measure of justice and redemption.

Santa will be busy.


About Leo Alejandrino

The blog is principally a commentary on Philippine politics and economics.
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