What If….

The Japan disaster and the Libyan conflict are mesmerizing the world.

They could not be more contrasting.

One is a natural calamity, the other a man made one.

One is a constitutional monarchy headed by an emperor with a thousand year legacy, the other a socialist Bedouin dictatorship led by an oligarch 40 years in power.

One side cherishes its bonzai, the other its AK 47.

One nation is still and respectful, the other raw and spirited.

What would happen if the roles were reversed, if the Japanese were in Libya and the Libyans in Japan?

Here is a scenario:

– Following the earthquake and tsunami, addressing a stadium of ranting and semi-delirious supporters, Japanese leader Col. Muammar el- Qaddafi sought to reassure the nation: “ We have experienced the worst tragedy since World War II which, incidentally, we would have won if the U.S. imperialists had not cheated and dropped an atom bomb on Hiroshima.

Inshallah, we will overcome this challenge. The main problem is the defective nuclear plants built by General Electric, a Satanic tool of the Americans to foster world domination on all non-Judaeo/Christian nations. First they targeted the Muslims, now the Shintoists.

We have asked the United Nations to compel the U.S. Government to impose a no-fly zone over the radioactive-spewing reactors but they refuse citing the danger of nuclear contamination to their aircraft. As a result we are unable to determine the real extent of the damage.”

Col. Qaddafi exhorted all Japanese particularly those in the vicinity of the U.S. bases in Okinawa to burn President Obama in effigy. Already groups have been seen waving flags and riding machinegun mounted Toyotas around the base.

He also accused “hedge fund infidels” of shorting the stock market to erode the country’s savings.

He urged his people to stay strong and stop watching CNN: “Foreign media are reporting radioactive levels of 10 million times normal. This is a misread. The real level is probably only half that so we should be fine. “.

Meantime, Fukushima residents continue to flee the area by any means. Defense Forces have orders to shoot looters on sight. Food and water is scarce but available at a price from middlemen.

The state of the nuclear reactors and spent fuel rods is unclear. The Fukushima 50, a band of Filipino contract workers, have been sent to inspect the sites with promises to double their pay and visas for their immediate families.

These workers report that something is burning inside but are unable to establish the cause due to the extreme heat and the fact they have no idea what they should be looking for.

The Government has used bucket brigades manned by illegal immigrants to pore seawater on the reactors while it determines how best to re-establish power to the generators. Negotiations are on going with suppliers but these are hampered by paperwork and under the table bargaining.

In the meantime, on the other side of the globe, the Libyan conflict continues unabated. From an undisclosed site, Libyan Emperor Hirohito asked his troops to fight their “misguided brothers” to the end but with compassion and understanding. He has also called for a ceasefire every Friday and at dawn and sunset for unperturbed prayers.

In Benghazi, scene of the most intense fighting, citizens have been quietly lining up for hours for limited supplies of food and gasoline. The Benghazi 50, all volunteers, have been tending to the wounded on both sides.

The U.N. Security Council passed Resolution 173 imposing a no-fly zone over the country. Emperor Hirohito welcomed the development, saying it is long overdue and the only way to protect innocent civilians. He had in fact ordered his Air Force to do likewise and apologized profusely if their efforts had been insufficient.

The Emperor also invited foreign observers to ensure that all aspects of the Geneva Convention On Human Rights were being strictly followed.

The conflict has resulted in a 90% drop in oil production. However the Libyan dinar continues to appreciate as local tribesmen repatriate their ill-gotten wealth to rebuild the nation. Foreign central banks have intervened in the currency market to stem the rise.

The outcome of the conflict is uncertain. The no-fly zone is holding but there is a stand-off on the ground between the warring forces. The Emperor has vowed to battle “the unkind colonialists” until hell freezes over.

President Obama has categorically stated Hirohito must go. –


About Leo Alejandrino

The blog is principally a commentary on Philippine politics and economics.
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4 Responses to What If….

  1. manuelbuencamino says:

    “President Obama has categorically stated Hirohito must go. ”

    I think you misunderstood Obama. What he said was, “Merci and Willie must go.”

  2. eldrick says:

    I think you both misunderstood Obama. What he said was, “Merci and Willie show your Diplocks!”

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