It’s, Apparently, Over

Just when the nation thought it had a betrothal to eclipse William and Kate’s, it appears it is not to be.

I was not referring to the possible engagement of Kris and Jun-Jun Binay. That may still happen.

I was referring to that of Liz and Noy.

Social media is abuzz that it is over. That is right, people, the couple are ostensibly no longer an item. They are history.

The Presidential Legal Counsel is to release a statement to possibly read as follows:

“After much anxious moments, President Aquino has received word from Ms. Liz Uy, his erstwhile companion and personal stylist, that they are henceforth to disengage for reasons that will remain private but can be accessed in her Facebook page.

The President is understandably distraught but, after an appropriate period of sulking, will continue to perform his official duties as he has sworn to do. That is the kind of leader he is.

The President and Ms. Uy have had a close and caring relationship. She has said he will forever remain in her thoughts and will support his PPP Economic Plan despite its deficiencies. Ms. Uy will continue to address the President’s aesthetic challenges until a suitable replacement is found.

We trust the public and the media will respect the privacy of the President during these trying times.”

An insider in Malacañang who asked not be named said that, until this time, he had never seen a grown man cry.

Speculation abounds as to the reasons for Liz’ decision. Some possibilities:

1. She was concerned in two years, at 30, she would be too old for the President.
2. She does not enjoy video games, shooting nor second hand smoke.
3. He is too aesthetically challenged.
4. He did not pick up when he was meeting with Obama in Yokohama.
5. He does not know who is Taylor Lautner nor the words to Lady Gaga’s “Bad Romance”.
6. He never takes her anywhere fun.
7. She wished he would occasionally gift her with more than souvenir T-shirts from his travels.
8. His friends are a bunch of old foggies.
9. In family gatherings she always has to sit with the children.
10. She was never into him but was afraid to say so. She was concerned for the safety of her family.

Other than the President, those most affected by the disengagement are VP Binay, Tourism Secretary Lim and Kris.

Binay is the President’s acknowledged confidante on matters of the heart. No more. Despite his vast experience, Jojo did not deliver on this one. As a result P-Noy has decided to a) replace Binay with Vicky Belo as his emotional adviser and b) no longer endorse Binay in 2016.

The Office of the VP has issued a statement saying the VP is disappointed at the outcome but sometimes one can only do so much with the material at hand.

Sec. Lim was also dejected to hear of the break up. Following the fiasco with the ill-considered tourist logo, P-Noy had given him an ultimatum to find a tourism game-changer or go the way of his deputy Romano.

Lim was set to unveil his new thrust: The wedding of Noy and Liz to be officiated by Manny Pacquiao. A DOT spokesman said: “The matrimony of William and Kate is expected to boost Great Britain’s tourism threefold and William is not even the Crown Prince, much less the King. P-Noy is a sitting President. Liz is just as hot as Kate. We had a winner. ”

Binay and Lim may now have to consider their future in the light of developments.

Kris is disappointed that Liz, her chosen one, is not to be. “ Liz could have married kuya and dumped him in 2016. I have done it myself and it works,” she tweeted. She was concerned this could affect her plans with Jun-Jun given the now awkward relations between his Dad and her brother.

The good news for all the attractive 20-somethings out there is that P-Noy is officially back in the hunt. This could be somebody’s 15 minutes of fame.

The other good news is P-Noy is vulnerable and ready to party which should make things easier.

His cell number is on his FB page. He may also be contacted at DatePNoy@malacanang.org. or through the Palace switchboard.

In the meantime Liz has reportedly been contracted by ABS-CBN to host a daytime show called, tentatively, Unwilling Uy.

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About Leo Alejandrino

The blog is principally a commentary on Philippine politics and economics.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to It’s, Apparently, Over

  1. Tony says:

    Unwilling Uy tops the cake.

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