Happy Days Are Here Again

(The following is the official statement from Presidential Spokesperson Lacierda on the 100 days. The report has been reviewed by the Presidential Legal Counsel).

It being an Anniversary we will only talk about the good things that happened to us.

We will therefore not mention the hostage crisis, the allegations of corruption against high public officials, our subservience to the Chinese Government, the fact we have done nothing about prosecuting as promised erring officials from the past Government; and the break-up of Shalani and the President.

The Republic has never been stronger.

Never has an Administration achieved so much, with so little in so few days. Our head is spinning.

We are “on track” in our promises to the Filipino people. We are unsure whether it is the slow track or the fast track since we still have to study the state of the tracks. We will issue our  assessment after a review by the Presidential Legal Counsel.

We banned wang-wangs, brought in $2.4 billion in foreign investments for the price of a $54 hotdog, cancelled dozens of DPWH contracts with tremendous savings, shut down 10 Presidential offices, created 15 new ones including three just for Communications, and replied to 122,225 text and Facebook messages.

The dispute over the Ninoy International Airport was resolved which we are taking credit for even though proceedings started with the Gloria Administration.

We saved P30 million in the purchase of a spectrometer whatever that is.

We reduced poverty by deleting 16,000 names from the computerized list of Officially Poor People.

There was further good news albeit from an unexpected source.

Our beloved President was threatened with excommunication by the Church. That would mean people could no longer pray for him which is the biggest source of his popularity. Fortunately the public came to the rescue forcing the Church to retract or face a P100 million lawsuit for defamation of character and acts unbecoming of prelates whose sexual preferences are unknown.

The President’s trust ratings stands at 71%, down from 88% but still remarkable for a sovereign leader. It is second only to the trust ratings of Osama Bid laden in Afghanistan.

We are confident the President will return to favor with the Filipino people, so confident that the President has retained UnderSecretary  Puno despite the clamor for his dismissal for incompetence, possible corruption, and excessively shooting himself in the foot.

The President vows to continue to fight dishonesty in public officials. More important, he promises to take down disbelievers. He said their days are numbered. As of this writing we are at 112 days and counting.

At the SONA the President promised swift action against overpaid GOCC officers, rice obsessed NFA officials and corrupt contractors. We realize the nation is impatient but the Presidential Legal Counsel has still to review the findings; the status of which we have no clue.

We established on Sept. 13 the Truth Commission to delve into allegations of corruption only against ex-President Arroyo and not against all other officials who have been ripping off this country since our independence. We are reluctant to proceed with haste since we are still trying to convince the ex-President to invest in this country.  The Commission’s report is subject to the review of the Presidential Legal Counsel.

The youth and disadvantaged sectors of society have lately been critical of the President most notably for his hair which is a particularly sensitive subject.

However, as ex-President Gloria always said, one should not govern on the basis of popularity or one’s hair but on the basis of what is right. She knows of what she speaks so we are following her counsel.

We urge all Filipinos to report any signs of wrongdoing by public officials. This will allow us to malign the whistleblowers for unsubstantiated charges. It will also allow the Senate to conduct hearings and the Justice Secretary to prosecute; unless they are friends of ours in which case they will be referred to the Presidential Legal Counsel who is getting busier even as I speak.

The Filipino should be pleased he finally has a Government that “ neither neglects him nor oppresses him”, just frustrates him.

Since we cannot multi-task, we cannot assure the country when anything will actually get done on our promises. However, to the Filipino, your vote is important to us so please wait until the next available agent can attend to you.

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About Leo Alejandrino

The blog is principally a commentary on Philippine politics and economics.
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